But one of the things that keeps us from achieving those dreams is the inner critic. So when we give power to that voice by listening to it we shut down our opportunity to live the life we hope for and set out trying to live at the beginning of each new year.

This year we are SO EXCITED to introduce you to a process called intentional creativity. It’s  what we’ve been doing all along but had no official name for.  And sort of tiptoed around – just dipping our toes in with meaningful, thought-provoking projects and discussions . But we think you want more of that.  And we want to take you – and our evenings – to a deeper place.  We all want more insight, more meaningful conversation, more ah-has, and more connection.  We know that your time is valuable, that you are up to big things in the world, and you need a place to be inspired, and inspiring, and people who are doing the same.

Cheryl and I have laid out our plans for 2013 in a way that will build on itself over the course of the year.  And one of the first things we will do in January (Calgary) and early February (Vancouver Island) is address that inner critic head on, in an artful way.  We hope to and will work towards silencing and diffusing the power that voice has on us and our dreams and aspirations.

We all have a wise and intuitive self even though some days it seems silent – and we struggle to hear it.  It’s  simply being drowned by other voices – both internal and external. But when we begin to embrace, silence, or re-frame our own unhelpful internal messaging, we build resiliency and strengthen our ability to deal with the negative influences that come from our environment.

You might wonder how we can make a process that sounds this heavy FUN? But never fear! Not only do we have wine but we are both trained facilitators in dealing with stressful, negative influence. We know the importance of keeping a light-hearted approach in potentially heavy topics.

So, does this sound like an intriguing way to creatively begin 2013?

If you:

• want and need connection with wholehearted (thanks Brene), interesting women
• would like a consistent creative outlet designed to inspire and encourage you
• love to get buried in art supplies and activities of all kinds
• have 3 hours a month to devote to just taking care of yourself – and know how critical that is…

then check out our events page for more details here for Calgary and here for Shawnigan Lake and please join our mailing list.  We never bombard you – you’ll simply get updates about upcoming events and maybe a great resource or two.

Need to Banish the Blues? Try the Power of Connecting to Others!

By Jennifer Waldburger, LCSW

Now that we’ve got the kick in the pants we needed, watch for details on an upcoming Wine, Women and a Paintbrush Session this month in Shawnigan Lake as well as some new ideas we are kicking around to share with you that will keep us connecting and creating and conversing….coming VERY soon!

Either we let the to-dos pile up so that there is no time left for the pleasures, or we create to-dos to avoid doing our important, inspiring, fulfilling stuff.  But that’s a whole other post…  Or, if we work we put our heads down somewhere around 25, bury ourselves in our jobs, ignore or put off the things we used to love, and come up for air somewhere around mid-life wondering where the hell the time went.  (Though I think that the younger generations have that figured out – I’m talking to us 40+ folks.)

So what’s on your “I’ll just” list today?  Ironically, today is my birthday and my day looks like laundry, several hours of work, chauffering kids, and grabbing a quick bite with my husband while one of them is at her activity.  However… a thoughtful friend, who is one of the best people I know at doing what she loves, has managed to convince me to steal away for the afternoon.  We all need some help – either a friend like mine, a list like Lesley’s to follow, or maybe a course, sport, or activity to invest in, to ensure that life is as full of “I’ll just spend an hour in the studio/with a friend/relaxing” as “I’ll just get this laundry done…”.

I realized today, while running, that I almost never STOP.  Like really stop.  Do nothing.  Just sit.  Even while sleeping, my dreams are crazy and busy, and now, at mid-life, I’ve got all kinds of lovely physical changes to keep me from totally relaxing.

So, what does that have to do with this video?   There’s a piece of it that describes how hunters, pre-weapons, were able to catch their prey, by tracking and running.  Until the exhausted animal, who, unable to regulate their body temperature, slows down and eventually collapses from heat stroke.  And it occurred to me that that is essentially what we humans do, even though for the most part, we have no idea how close we are to collapse.  I don’t think we’re very good at self-regulation either,  though we might think we are.  Most of us run/go/text/work/help/etc. without real rest until suffer our own kind of heat stroke – literally or figuratively.

Lots of us have put restorative practices in place – yoga, art, vacations, going “offline”.  Certainly there is enough attention on being in the moment, or meditating, the slow life, etc. to have resulted in a heightened awareness.  And we probably all know people who “never saw it coming” and we think “oh that won’t happen to me” or make a concerted effort to ensure it doesn’t.  But I wonder whether we are always “on” in some way?  I definitely am.  Always thinking, planning, running errands, catching up, working – it’s endless.  Even when I sit down to watch something PVR’d (which makes getting it watched so much faster so that I can do something else), I’m doing something else.  Unbelievable.  So I’m considering – just considering, since I’m pretty addicted to endless input sadly – actually stopping for at least a tiny part of each day.  Because though I seem to be healthy and able to keep up this pace, some part of me knows that all this running can’t possibly last.

7 short years ago

So, this August, when my oldest son, Adam, moved away to pursue his passion for hockey, I invited a few women over whose children were also leaving this fall  for a few tears and lots of commiseration.

When the day of the party arrived, the same day my son was leaving, it was all I could do to not cancel. All I wanted to do was mope around. (By the way, I had NO idea his leaving would hit me that hard. It wasn’t so much about his preparedness to fly the coop.  The sadness stemmed from a realization that this was the first real life transition in our family and that nothing would ever be the way it was again.  And from missing seeing him daily.) Fortunately, or unfortunately, I knew my friends would show up anyway so it seemed in my best interest to be ready for them!

It was exactly what I’d hoped for – and what we hope for in our events. Women sharing our lives, our sadness, our hopes and dreams, lots of laughter, and, in this case, quite a few bottles of wine! (Hence the blurry photo).

an evening of happy commiseration

I’m glad I didn’t cancel. This was just what I/we all needed. And I’m so grateful.

what else is there to say but "wow"

I’m at the stage of life where my own internal conversations – and definitely conversations with my girl friends – often is about aging.  One friend recently referred to her gray hair as her “wisdom” – as in, my wisdom is showing.  I love it!  What a warm, positive way to approach what is often a kind of difficult transition.  Everywhere we look we are bombarded with images of impossibly youthful looking women at middle-age and beyond.

Like the above image.  Holy cow!  She’s 65!  Gotta give her credit – she looks amazing.  And, as I understand it, she’s very well researched and educated on this topic.  HOWEVER, the “not aging at all” thing isn’t working for me and wasn’t the point of this post.

I wanted you to know about this blog – Advanced Style – and these incredible shots of lovely women who are aging gracefully, beautifully, and with style.

If you subscribe to the feed similar pictures arrive regularly from all over the world.  So inspiring!  I think perhaps that these women are a more realistic approach to aging gracefully..

recycled chic

how sweet is she?

And while I certainly would love to look like Suzanne Somers at 65, having the grace,style and confidence of these women would be just as satisfying.  What do you think?

And, in honor of Mother’s Day, I think my Mom should be included here.  At 75, she’s chic, stylish and health conscious.  Here she is with my daughter, Robin, on a recent family holiday.